Friday, June 13, 2014

First third of treatments done, first bilateral

Treatments 2 and 3 went fine. Same basic musical chairs routine - various nurses "stickering" us up with electrodes, taking vitals, and getting IVs started, then rotating us in and out of the treatment room.

I've been a mess - sleeping the entire day from the anesthesia, sore, confused.

And yet still my daughter is set on being an ass. Still insisting on keeping this car, still ignoring family, still taking off all night - I did find out she has been staying over at some new boys house - who she says she just met AFTER she bought the car, and who she says she isn't sleeping with. Right.

Either way, this is the epitome of self centeredness - her mom is undergoing a serious set of treatments, and she is more concerned about having a pretty car.

My "boyfriend" is also too wrapped up in his own little world - God forbid he take a night off from the night club, his second job, to spend time with me. He is supposed to have 2 nights off each week - he never does. And he drinks excessively each of those nights.

My family here though has been great. My dad, mom, uncle, grandmother. Another family complication is that we are going to have to put my 14 year old dog down. He has been coughing for months now, and the doctor said yesterday there is nothing they can do for him.

Right now, I'm just feeling confused and overwhelmed. The switched me from right unilateral to bilateral today - bilateral is more extreme, and more commonly associated with the memory loss. I think after today I am going to refuse bilateral. Apparently I had to be re-sedated after I woke up initially because I was ""agitated""  and combative. I remember being scared out of my mind, not knowing who I was or where I was. I have felt nauseous all day. And my head hurts worse than normal.

On top of all this, I find out that the psychiatrist I was recommended to go to doesn't accept my insurance. I was looking forward to having a real psychiatrist and therapist in one who was recommended by someone I trust dearly. He is going to try and get a referral to someone from her.

So at least I have two days off. I feel like ass. I don't feel any better. The ECT doctor wants me to go back on the lithium - even though the other doctor took me off. I thought the whole purpose of ECT was to get people off all the meds.  If not, then what is the purpose of all this?

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